A Blog is Like a Diary...

So I was thinking, no one really reads my blog, and im on it everyday, so why not actually try and use it like a diary? I mean, Im not really honest with myself most of the time, or sometimes I dont always reconize my feelings as I should... Why not use this blog to try and actually be open with myself and people with the little people who know I have a blog? Aha, my moral of the day.

Right now im litlle on the downside you could say, but today was a decently good day, I learned alot, and have been working extensively on translating and understanding some french litterature.

Right now im thinking about home and people, and wondering / having a feeling that its not going to be the same when I get back. I dont keep in touch with people I want, maybe its because I feel that I need to..feel like im french, and this is my new life. But sometimes I think I dont write back right away, dont keep in touch at all, or if I think of someone... I just know its not going to be the same when I return, so why bother? Shit, thats what I really think..and I know its something I shouldnt think, but.. I guess I just gotta let things go..ya feel? I dont know what to think anymore. All I know is that im in France, and 10 months is a long time, and thats that.

So this is me trying to be insightful for once, trying to think things through, and I think I have, its just not the anwser I want. But mabye the answer I need.

P.S. Disregard that last bulletin, I was..distraught.

Emotions

Just so were on the same page, I created this blog to express my emotions.

And right now I feel like FUCKING shit. But this shitty ass salsa music makes my fucking brain release endorphins... fuck.

I wish I had a cookie, and its off to bed for me.

Fucking Hamstring

Right now im at school, in the library, being hella paranoid that I'll get caught blogging. My mood is so-so, my day was so-so.

So yesterday after school I had a meeting with my home room teacher, math teacher, and my host mom to talk about how im doing and shit. They said that they could see I have progressed and stuff, but the french teacher said I should try speaking in class. Ya see I would and all.. If I knew what the hell she was saying. Dang, how am I suppose to try and answer the question, if I dont know what it is, and dont even have the slightest idea about what shes talking about?

My host parents are kinda getting on my nerve as well... So I pulled my hamstring, and I was suppose to get one of those ACE bandages yesterday, but my host mom was like no, we will wait till you see the doctor. And Im like, why am I seeing the doctor again? And she told me I needed a note so I wouldnt have to do PE and shit...cause seriously I hate the doctor, hes hella crazy, but apparently these french people rely on the doctors hella.

So Im like allright, I will see the doctor to get the note, fine fine. So then yesterday night, I was talking to my host dad, and hes like yeah, your going to the doctor tomorrow. Im like..mmhmm, great, sure, whatever. And hes like, hopefully he will do you well, the doctor is great, and you should be able to play on Sunday! Im like...wait wait wait..sunday? Seriously..I am soooo not playing. Hell no, it will not heal that fast, and I am soo not risking it. I think Ceciles dad just wants the best though, and he really loves soccer, so he proabably wants to watch or something.

So for all of you alamedians, remember kids, the doctors are crazy, the people are crazy, and make sure you know what your getting yourself into. I think thats my moral for the day, and I really hope soccer is only one season.

Miss you all..
And Tap X...
Toomies...
Ultimate...etc.

Yesterday some crazy shit went down.

So first I had to get my lazy ass up at the crack of dawn (6:30), eat breakfast with the family and then take the long car ride to school. I actually had class first thing in the morning, and then french, english, and then lunch. At lunch I ate at school, and then me and two friends walked to the city, where we met our other classmates / friends. But.. I wasnt in a good mood so I went in this three story sports store building, and just cruised around.

After all my classes, I went back to the city with one of my friends, and we scrounged for change and bought some chips and an orangina. She didnt tell me this until like two minutes before we were heading back to school, that we werent really heading back at all, but meeting up with her ex. I was soo like wtf...then he showed up, we walked aroud, and then I ditched trying to find my way back to school, and almost got lost. Haha.

I got back to school which was around four o'clock, and sat down at a table. There was this really hot guy sitting at the table in front of me...he must have knew I wanted to talk to him, so he turned around and said ¨Whats your nationality?¨In english, and then I was like...american. And hes like ¨ah¨. A few minutes later he turned around again and then started speaking in french to me...confirming that I was a Premiere L, type of student I am, meaning im a junior and that I take language type classes and shit. And then he asked me if it was difficult and crap.. but I never got his name. Thats my mission for today, if im not a freakin chicken.

As I was sitting at the table alone, some of Ceciles friends came over and started chatting with me. I only really know two of guys that sat down, Emilien and Yohann. Later Cecile finished with her class and came to wait with us until her dad came to pick us up. I pulled some changed out of my pocket and bummed ten cents from a kid, and went to buy a cup of hot chocolate from this machine across the room (im actually an addict, drink about three a day, they are sooo good and cheap.) As I was walking back to the table, I stopped to talk to Emilien who was looking at soome papers stapled to the wall. We turned around and walked towards the table and he knocked my hand and I dropped the cup all over the floor, and on Emilien. It was pretty hilarious. Except for the part whereI had to clean it up, and Cecile or Emilien wouldnt help me.

After school I had soccer practice which is normally pretty fun, the girls are super nice. But as I was running and shit, I sorta pulled my hamstring..again. But its not like pulled pulled, just pulled, if that means anything. But It gets me out of soccer for a while, and I can just chill...Till the next episode.

Look Lyuda, I started a blogger...