Monday Morning...

So its Monday Morning... lucky me I got to sleep in cause im on vacation. WeeeEE. Dang, this weekend flew by, I can hardly remember what I did.

Wednesday - Friday Cecile and I spent the night at her sisters apartement type thingy. And we went shopping in this town called "Fleche", and I bought a pair of jeans and two shirts... And friday night I went around the city with little kids. Saturday.. I hung out, watched a basket ball game, and then ate dinner with some kids from Etriche, and we watched a movie. And yesterday... I went to a public pool. Seriously, I never realized how disgusting pools are. I mean... there were hella ass people, and the water just felt sooo icky on my skin, I was like.. freaking out. After swimming, we had lunch at a friends house, went to the foyer, and then to Anthonys house to watch into the blue. Hahaha, for all those stupid french kids who try to make me watch movies in french, I got to watch it in english!!! Yay.

Soo.... Ive started to realize sometimes why my mom gets angry about certain things like...me telling her a day before, or in some cases I told her just hours before I had planned to do something. Cecile.. oh god. She does this to me everyday I swear, and its really starting to piss me off. "Par example": Last night at like 10:30, she came up to me and told me we were spending the night at her friends house tonight, and that tomorrow we would be going to Angers for the day. Okay, first of all... Tonight is less than 24 hours away, and second of all, Marion is your friend, not nessciarily mine. Ha, and not only that, she tells me this yesterday, and then today she hasnt even called Marion to confirm, so its not even set in stone. Im like.. how am I suppose to know what we are doing, if you dont tell me? Whetever, but I think shes getting better, cause the last last time she did this, I got hella pissed off and was like "How come I didnt freaking know?!?". And she was like, oops I thought I told you, and then appologized until I had an ok look on my face... lol.

But...

Besides for Monday...
I chilled with some friends on Friday, Saturday went to the library and "post office". Etriche is incredibly small, and I actually thought they had a post office, but they actually have a little convinence store, with like....a small pedastool thing that they call the post office. They will send your letters... but not a small box. Saturday night I had this thing called Raclette or something hella good. ITs like.. melted cheese and stuff..mmmm....

Since I was home alone Sunday, Anthony came over and we watched Big Fish and Les Choristes, and then he left and I had lunch with Céciles dad, and then I went to the Foyer with Anythony.. we chilled, played pool, and then watched Shrek 2. Dang, three movies in one day, it was crazy. After that I watched like half of a basket ball game.. then went home and did some homework, and ate hella good crepes. Oh my, they are the best. Bah, I still have homework....

Hey hey hey, my mom bought me this vonage thingy, so when I get it here, I can use the internet to make calls, and then its hella cheap, and I have an alamed voicemail box, so be expecting more calls...hehe.. Especially since I have vaction tomorrow for a week and a half. Mwhahahahaha, cause my school is cool liek that. (but really its not). And Friday.... Im going with Anthony and some others to take kids around the city for Haloween. weEe.

Hope Hannah Camp was fun..
And I miss you all.....

Fuck this shit

I dont know what to say. I dont know what to tell you guys..

Im not feeling it right now..
I called my grandpa.. cause its his birthday. He seemed kind.. blah. Not all that great. I was like, hey its your birthday....wee. I thought it might be because he was getting old.. not in that good of a mood. Hes not that old, seriously.. but we talked for a few minutes.. and then I asked if grandma was there.. knowing I would proabably get a no cause she works during the day, unlike my grandpa who works at night. I got have the answer I was expecting, she wasnt at home...but in the miraculous place called the FUCKING HOSPITAL.

What kind of fucking shit is this anyways? I move to california, and during seventh grade, she ends up in the hospital. Me thinking its no so serious at the time, doesnt worry, but instead I was on a plane to texas within the next two hours. Now here in France, 3ish years later, im thinking I was a little lucky compared to now...california is relatively close. FUCK this shit, I always have shitty feelings about going so far away, and finally when I convince myself nothing is going to happen, something like this goes and pisses the hell out of me.

Haha, I got off the phone a few minutes later, with the excuse I didnt have that many minutes, I didnt lie, and then went and cried for like... 20 minutes until cecile finally heard me...fucking thin ass door. Fuck... And now all of you fools are off at Hannah Camp, and I alomost wish I could play ultimate to take out my anger ,or just cry on one of you guys right now.. Cause im starting to cry, and I cant see the keys on the board.. so I will stop here....

My Week / Weekend

My week / weekend was like the greatest...ever.

On wednesday I got a package from my mom, filled with miraculous goodies consisting of my graphing calculator, a shirt, some haloween stuff, chapstick, and two boxes of thai food, (which I ate sunday night). Friday night, I went with cecile to babysit her cousin, but then I left to go hang out with some friends right near by. While there I played pool with Anthony, and surprisingly managed to win... cause he knocked in the 8 ball like three times. Hes like a friggin pro, can get seven balls in a row. And I can ryhme like crazy.

Saturday I went with cecile to a friends house for some weird meeting, with six other people, im still not really sure what the meetings are, although Ive already been to two. And after that we went to a church to watch Emilien and two other guys practice their guitar playing for some church thing, and then I ate a cucumber out of someones garden, hehe, I felt like stealing one. And then I went to Ceciles basketball game where I hung out more with Anthony, and then after the game a bunch of friends went to ceciles for a "fete". We ate lots of pasta...and listened to Emilien and his two friends rock out on their electric guitars. It was incredibly loud, but they could play some cool songs. The guys left at midnight, and I went to bed, but got up and hour later to chill with ceciles friends outside, in the dark cool night. Like seven or eight guys lives right in Etriche, which is hella small, so they just walk on over. Sunday I slept in late, and thenwent with Ceicle and her family to one of her cousins house. We had an enormous yummy dinner with turkey and patatoes, and other stuff. And then we watched The Island dubbed in French. Its hella dumb, like dubbing movies, but whatever, all the french people watch movies dubbed.

That was my weekend, it was pretty freakin awesome getting a box from my mom, but im still waiting for my precious shoes to get here. Actually, the might come today if im lucky. But proabably not. Yesterday there was a fire alarm at my school, and it was exciting. But im not sure if it was fake or not.. I think something might have happened, but im not sure. And today I dotn have school until 2, so I slept in till 10:30, it was great. And later Im taking the train to Angers, and walking to school with Anthony. Life is good in France, and im listenin to some coolio Hip hop french music.

....OUAIS.... .

Today Today...

I had an hour to chill, and then I had history, french, and a freakin english test. Yeah, your proabably thinking, oh, that should be easy loren! But... no. Its just vocab shit, and I have to translate 40 words from french to english, and I only knew like.. less than half. But I knew even less than that, some words are just hella similar... After that, I had lunch in the city with cécile, and then.. two hours of that crap ass class TPE were I just chill, and do research... And talk to my brazilian friend in english, totally rocks.

After that, I had three more hours to kill before heading home, so Anthony and another friend, his names Samuel, and I walked to a DMV place, and then just chillled. The guys wanted to go to a bar, and was like...why? So they like to drink, and I was like that bar..it was deserted, and I hella didnt think I was allowed to go inside, or just afraid someone would be like your not old enough! I hate confrontation, but eh. They both got this drink with like lemonade straberry grenidy, and beer. Quite good actually...but I didnt drink, just tried.

Tomorrow is gonna rock. I dont think I have class in the morning, then just two hours of history and..french, another free hour, lunch, then three hours of class, and I get out at 4h20. Which is goooooodddd. Haha, lucky punks, get out at 3, baaahh. At least im in FRANCE. So there. Oh god, im like talking to myself to boost my self esteem, how lovely.

So... did anyone actually go and drink tap x for me?

So Listen....

Could you guys get off my back about the whole cutting thing? I think ALL of you missed the line "wasnt really gonna cut myself or anything, im pretty sure I stopped that".

I mean seriously, I wanted to post it because its how I felt, but now im getting all these remarks and shit. I am fine, and under control, and thanks for all the love and shit, I know you mean well, but.. I can handle myself, and you guys showed me it was wrong when I was living in Cali.

I think this whole random depression thing is just part of the program, you know, I think im starting to hit culture shock, and at the time with the scissors, I wasnt even depressed, I was just thinking, and I wasnt going to do SHIT.

But really thanks for caring, but I am FINE.

(Yeah you know it)

Tears...?

Maybe you could say the mornings are never terribly good, and well.. this morning was the worst. Only because I seriously did not want to go to school, I could have cared less and would have like to ditch, I was hella homesick, and wanted to be alone, but couldnt because it was pouring rain outside. Everymorning I get to school, sit at a table with cecile, usually some of her friends show up, like two or three, than Anthony arrives and we say hi, he goes to a different table, and then like seven more of ceciles friends come and crowd the table, including her boyfriend. Iono, I just feel so outta place sometimes with them, or hella random people, like... I try to say something, and they're just like whatever. And when cecile leaves, they dont talk to me all that much, so its fine, but I was hella depressed and shit, and even Anthony noticed and he was sitting all the way across the room. Anyways..I was hella depressed, and thats that. But.... I am semi-okay now.

Haha, about a week ago, I was helpin some guy with his english, but then I was just sitting there, and I starting playing with his scissors, and just thinking.. and didnt realize he was still there, and put the blade to my skin...wasnt really gonna cut myself or anything, im pretty sure I stopped that, but...he was like..wwwhhhoooaaaa. I was like nah nah nah, not me. It was....interesting, kindda like when I starting cutting myself in the center in front of Conner, hahaha. Anyways.. I guess my mood is kinda just blah.. I dont know if you can tell but.. who knows, im half sick and just not the greatest person right now.

Tommorrow I have classes in the morning, totally sucks, but then two free periods at the end of the day, which totally rocks, and im gonna spend it just chillin, relaxing, and havin fun. Wweee...

Peace, and Drink Tap X for me

Samedi

Yesterday I watched céciles basket ball game, and then we headed over to the town of Chateauneuf for that get together with all these kids and such. And yesterday I had my camera with me.. so I took pics of people. Fa sho.

Emilien

Anthony and Marion

And today I watched a soccer game in Etriche with Anthony, and then Cécile, Anthony and me watched Gone in 60 Seconds with one of his friends. And now im at home, just chillin..listen to Limp Bizkit...

Laundry and Smoking

So, I find the doing the laundry, and not smoking, is like really good. Here I do lots of laundry, well, not lots, but..a normal amount, especially on the weekends. The laundry goes into the maching, and then I get to hang it out on a clothes line for drying. Its pretty awesome, and makes me feel productive... The french people are really engery saving. Like, the whole house has tons of windows, and you never need to turn on a light until 7 o'cklock at night.

And I dont know if I told you guys this, but like.. theres this huge open section in the middle of the school, its outside, and theres actually like a smoking section for all the kids who smoke. Its kinda crazy, and when I found out about it..I was like whoa. And then I got use to all the kids smoking and shit, and then one time this guy named Axel was helping me with reading a Fable, hes 16, and he just pulled out Tabacco and started rolling a cigarette right in the school, inside. I was like uh...what are you doing? But its strange and odd, people just carry cigarretts around, and one of my good friends smoke, and like 5 people in my class do. Kinda bizarre... but.. interesting in a way, the whole different culture thing. But dont fret, mm'kay, I am not gonna smoke..like..eeew.

So, I just wanted to fill you in on the culture a little bit more...

Another Hour.. Another Day

Today and yesterday... pretty decent days.

Lets see.. Yesterday I had three classes in the morning, then lunch in the city with Cecile and one of her friends, then this class called TPE for two hours. I dont really care for the TPE teachers that much, but the class is basically shit, like when I was at the Center taking L2L with Syl, I mean...seriously. After that I would have played Futsal for two hours, but with my leg and all, I just stayed at school looking for others to hang with, but they were all off doing things like sports or this thing called ¨comidie musical¨. So, I snuck over to Anthony (snuck because I hardly understand him, and hes older, standing with all his old friends, kinda awkward, but in the end not, cause he happens to be only a grade older), and I thought for a second, and then quickly asked him in french what he was gonna do for the next two hours. He said shopping, and no one was going with him, so I tagged along. We chilled, bought good food, and met up with one of his friends, and went looking at CDs and stuff...basically being homework free and just chillin in the city.

Last night I memorized more lines of this Fable, in the end memorizing 12 lines, but it fuckin pissed the hell out of me. This time and the last time I had to memoriwe a fable, I worked soo hard, and thought it was due the next week, when it was actually due that friday. I got soo angry, and only had to say 12 lines, but I wanted to prove sooo bad to those little frenchie kids that I could memorize it, and that I wasnt..dumb or that shit. But this morning I had three classes as well, a free period were I just chilled and read, talked to Anthony, then I had lunch, and then went to go watch this movie called Indegnes. Sadly though I couldnt find a pick on the web, but I told jesse it reminded me of Behind Enemy Lines and that movie Windtalkers. Hella exciting movie though...makes you jump, and four of the main characters die...kinda abburptly too. After that I had english, and helped all the french kids and shit.

Oh snap, I swear its soo weird when I dont do anything and I just sit and think. ITs like im somewhere else, and I have to convince myself that im in france. I just sit there and im like... where am I again? Am I really halfway across the map? Im like...I havent seen jesse or lyuda..or any of them.. Sometimes I dont miss home, and I just think ive lived here forever, and that California was just a dream, and just this morning I thought I was losing my mind because I was thinking I could be in a parrallel univers, and all of this really isnt France, I really didnt take a plane for nine hours, it just felt like it because we were crossing times, from one place to another, and the plane was just floating stagnant in a big blue space of nothing-ness. Crazy.. I know.

Tommorrow, im watchin ceciles basketball game, memorizing some vocab for english but for me im memorizing french, and meeting up with some kids and eating some free crepes. Its gonna be good....I hope. But poor Emilien got dumped by his girlfriend. . .were all gonna be doing some comforting for him. I hope life is good in Cali

You could say...

That this is what France is all about. A beautiful back yard, far far away from home. I was looking at it this morning, sitting alone at the table, just pondering thoughts while looking at the back yard. Just looking, makes me happy.

So I got up and took a picture, so I could share it with you.

So, La Dee Daa

Yesterday was like blah.

I had a class called SVT which should be called ¨we are going to disect something everyday¨, and my lab partner is this super cool guy named Thomas, and he always helps me and shit. He was talking to me while the teacher was talking, and the teacher looks at him, and starts talking really fast french so I cant understand, and Thomas gives quick replies, and I only caught a few words here and there...and then Thomas starts talking to Val, and im like what the hell.. Thomas finally tells me that the teacher said if he helps me, he cant succeed. What kind of bullshit is that? Basically I started pouting, and giving dirty looks to the teacher, and sat there without bothering to pick up my pen, to not make an effort, and piss off the teacher. I know he knew I was mad, whenever he looked at me he made sure I wasnt looking, and when I was he quickly glanced away. But whatever, screw that dumbass prof..

The past week I have been working on this one assignment, litterally I worked on it for 5-6 hours, trying to understand two fables and write about it, and only managed to write less than a third of what everyone else wrote. But hey, I tried..thats what counts. I also managed to fail my history and math test...wee. And math is super easy, it pisses me off, I just couldnt read the damn problems. Its like straight up algebra over here. But school overall is pretty cool, I have hella friends, and today Emilien and this guy named Clément helped me read a childrens book.

Im actually getting better at french, today I actually noticed an improvement, it was kinda weird...just all of a sudden being able to blurt out answers to questions people ask me in french. I was like..huh, and cecile started laughing, and im like whats so funny? Shes like, my dad talks really fast, and you manage to understand, you've improved soo much. Its pretty awesome...

My mood is good good, I have little homework, but shit.. I still have to do it. Im looking forward to saturday night, supposedly theres this get together with a bunch of people, like..Emilien, Fabien, and other peeps at a church, and I get to eat free crêpes. mmmmmmm. But no chinese food. And tomorrow, if I have really good luck I will catch Fabien in Etriche, or Angers before he leaves. I have to take the train to school wednesdays, totally rocks.

If you read this and I havent replied to your email... im sorry. I have too many emails to reply to..haha, what a lame excuse.

¨Mucho Grande Taco Supreme Amour from El France-O. ¨

Tourner La Bouteille

So this weekend was filled with lots of fun things....

Saturday morning I went to the Etriche library with Cecile. Oh man, its like the size of my living room, books are hella unorganized, and they supposedly have three in english, two of which are by Scott Fitzgerald or something, the guy who wrote The Great Gatsby. It was crazy, but I decided to get a little kids book (haha), and this book I was supposed to buy for my french class. Saturday evening around seven oclock we went to ceciles grandparents house for a get together / dinner with some family, around 20 people...the dinners are always crazy, and they eat for sooo long.

After dinner, around midnight Cecile and I walked to this guys Fabiens house. They call it a ¨fete¨ which supposedly means party. Hahaha, hella funny though. Okay, so there were around 8 guys there, all around the age of 15, hella roudy and wrestilin, and throwin shit. We all sat down on couches, chatting, and someones like, Fab, go get a bottle. So he brings back a bottle, and all the guys wanna play spin the bottle with themselves, and me and cecile. Its hella funny cause they would kiss each others faces and shit, and I made one guy lick another guys face. Soo.. hmmm.. I..uh.. got a hug! yes! it was great.. mmmhhmmm
We left around 1:30 or something...

Today I got up at 9:30, and walked with cecile to the soccer field, where we watched Fabien and all the guys play. We walked back to her house, had lunch, and then I went to watch her basket ball game. We stayed longer to watch another game..and then saw Fab and this asian kid, I forgot his name, but its cool cause there are like no asians around here, seriously. That was my weekend, and I procrastinated on homework, and...yeah.