So I was thinking, no one really reads my blog, and im on it everyday, so why not actually try and use it like a diary? I mean, Im not really honest with myself most of the time, or sometimes I dont always reconize my feelings as I should... Why not use this blog to try and actually be open with myself and people with the little people who know I have a blog? Aha, my moral of the day.
Right now im litlle on the downside you could say, but today was a decently good day, I learned alot, and have been working extensively on translating and understanding some french litterature.
Right now im thinking about home and people, and wondering / having a feeling that its not going to be the same when I get back. I dont keep in touch with people I want, maybe its because I feel that I need to..feel like im french, and this is my new life. But sometimes I think I dont write back right away, dont keep in touch at all, or if I think of someone... I just know its not going to be the same when I return, so why bother? Shit, thats what I really think..and I know its something I shouldnt think, but.. I guess I just gotta let things go..ya feel? I dont know what to think anymore. All I know is that im in France, and 10 months is a long time, and thats that.
So this is me trying to be insightful for once, trying to think things through, and I think I have, its just not the anwser I want. But mabye the answer I need.
P.S. Disregard that last bulletin, I was..distraught.
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2 comments:
giirl i read this.
distraught bulletin? what about?
well, things will be different when you get back, but that doesn't mean that they won't be there. your friends and family are still gonna love you, we're just going to have to talk alot to catch up.
and well, you are in france. i mean, if you go to a foreign country for 10 months, you're there to see the culture, and to sort've get away from america, and what you've known all your life. so yeah, it makes perfect sense to "try and be french" like you said. that's why your there, i say thats perfect.
this is your time away. that doesn't mean sever all contact, but like, you don't have to be on the computer all day, sending emails and myspacing and stuff (not saying you do.) it's just about a balance that's right for you, and if that means less contact, all your friends will understand completely.
i miss you. i hope you love it over there
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