PERDU

I have some weird emotions.

First of all, the last two times ive tried calling my mom shes been busy. I mean, I guess its normal and shit, but then when shes busy, I dont feel like talking to her later, cause she was busy before, like retaliating and shit. Same thing goes with Anthony.

Earlier today I told him we proabably wouldnt see each other today, but later he sends me a text message saying hes not doing anything, and I tell him me too. Hes knows I cant just leave the house, well it depends, and later everyone is over at a friends house, im not invited, and now im stuck at home, and decide that I dont ever wanna leave. Im like locking myself up. And seriously he never stops by. It pisses me off.

I always feel so lost, I dont know why. And its not even lost, I just feel... arg. yep, arg. Whatever, screw it, I dont need friends right now, I dont even need Anthony, so why... why why why, that is the question. I need to be more fucking independent, what the hella is wrong with me, shit.